A remarkable year you were, really.
I'm not here to summarize.
Funny how two months pop up
like blemishes on a clean complexion
puberty, a downside to maturity
two months, September and February.
I don't consider them to be the worst,
for I've gone further in discourse.
Aside from those this was a very fruitful year.
I feel like a different person.
Brave and unstoppable,
yet sometimes cowering in social anxiety.
It's a blessing really, don't want to suck all the air out
until the ears pop
unless I'm underwater or alone in the park.
2011, you pressed my nose up against the glass
and sometimes it hurt.
Bending cartilage to unbend the mold,
I broke the barrier between me and myself.
My hands, even when empty
have so much to give, like the time.
My personal stock market has gone up,
pushing out the bottom feeders
forsaking my breath.
2011, you taught me a little about love
and all those tiny little differences
that separate small plants from trees
and the sake of sustainability.
sometimes i feel hardened as though
i've absorbed all the soil, enriched by lessons
with slight aggression. but i've learned not to be so heavy
as it's important to shake off leaves to obtain humility.
i desire an exquisite landscape,
one with time and care and reason and
the emotional capacity to endure the driest of drought
or the annoying occasional cringe of self-doubt
as though i'm not meant to deserve something so prosperous.
yet another useless thought gone by the wayside such as you.
2011, thanks for helping me feel more alive than ever.
those growing pains were worth it