Shhhh

Stepping abroad, putting yourself in an unfamiliar place is the best way to analyze yourself and the place you come from.

I've had a chance to observe American culture a bit, after being separated from the many aspects that I was so naturally accustomed to. I have a love/hate relationship with the country I was born and raised in, the United States of America.

Here in China, we can't say what we want all the time. I can't wear my Bjork shirt because she's banned here for saying things about T!bet. Youtube is blocked, and now blogspot is as well. Censorship is a normal thing here. There is no first amendment right that opens the door for someone to voice their dissatisfaction.

In America, we have a tendency to forget just how fortunate we are. I read online about the most recent Miss USA pageant and the stir of controversy it has caused. One of the judges, Perez Hilton (the openly-gay celebrity blogger), asked Miss California, Carrie Prejean (a staunch conservative) about her views on gay marriage. Rather than lie, she openly opposed it. So everyone was outraged, and according to Hilton, such a statement "cost her the title."

I would've loved to have seen the actual footage, but I can't access youtube in China.

Personally, I think we've got bigger fish to fry than worry about two people of the same sex getting married. If they want to tie the knot in a country with the third highest divorce rate in the world, let them. Sure, I don't agree with Prejean, but I'm surely not going to bash her for speaking her mind. Hilton apparently made a video calling her a bitch. Why punish the girl for being honest about the way she feels? A couple of years ago, Prejean's stance was virtually the norm in the media. Now that the country has taken a serious left after the Bush administration, suddenly it's faux pas to be right-winged.

I wonder if Hilton, or anyone truly upset by the pageant ever stopped to think what life would be like if we were not allowed to publicly express ourselves. Or what it would be like if the Miss USA committee was forced to abolish the pageant because of homosexual government officials who gasped when they heard her answer. What if they could only mutter a phrase like "homosexual" or say "Tian'nemen" with a glazed-over smile, keeping in mind that someone might be in earshot? What would Perez Hilton do if his beloved blog was blocked? Do we ever stop to think about that sort of thing, or are we too busy complaining? For a country that prides itself on cultural diversity, everyone surely wants everyone else to think the exact same way. They ought to check out China.

The relationship I have with my country is filled with frustration and admiration. I can't deny the sensations I feel when I'm driving down the highway on a breezy night, with the windows down and songs coursing through the speakers, watching skyscrapers twinkle and light up Atlanta. Or standing with my feet pressed in sand, staring at an ocean then turning around to gaze at a mountain in San Diego. Or that time I saw Bjork live with my best friend and she sang one of my favorite tunes in a ballroom theatre. But there are other times when I feel much opposite, like stopping to witness the trainwreck that is MTV and seeing a show that makes a mockery out of human relationships, or a news station trying to scare the viewer into submission. Or religious fanatics preying on people's faith. Some of these things I have mentioned are not necessarily exclusive to the United States but they are prominent in my mind and leave me conflicted.

Yet, I'm proud of my country. I'm also proud that I am able to openly criticize it without risk of censorship or persecution.