Mauve

there's a beauty in the things we fear
that i never really understood before. 
death is a calming choice, 
like whether to immerse yourself in the ocean waves
or stick around and fight it out.
there's no anger in it,
that's saved for the ones around who love you

i felt the bullet lodged in her temple
and i locked a breath deep inside my lungs.
i felt her pain leak away into just a pressure point,
this. stick around, compromised
or just give into it and leave the ones behind.
then the death itself was really nothing. a flicker
a budging of a lampshade 
a blink of eyelashes. a smile
of gratitude for a life worth lived