Late nite ramblinz

Being home feels so good. I feel like a child at Christmas. I love my parents so dearly. The best part is I know they love me too. I know a lot of people out there can't say that about their parents. I am not one of them. I am grateful for every single day I have with them. I've had friends lose parents recently and it hurts to hear about it, pains me to imagine them going through my absolute worst fear I've had since I was a really small kid. I used to cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how one day that would be me. Sometimes I still do.

I play chess too much. I am slightly addicted. I once read it reduces risk of Alzheimer's so I started playing it more regularly and now I can't stop. I don't ever want Alzheimer's. I want to remember everything so I can one day publish that book I'm going to publish one day.

I practice yoga now. And running. I've learned to appreciate my body instead of scold it all the time. I don't really experience anxiety much these days. 

I can't drink hard liquor very much anymore. It upsets my stomach. I might have an ulcer in there somewhere. Who knows. 

I had an amazing time in Cancun with my mother. I thought I would be so depressed to come home but so far I've been having a great time. I still think about maybe returning to Russia some day but only if the timing is right.

I'm in the midst of developing an idea for a book of memoirs.  Maybe if I get into grad school it will be my thesis. Oh please higher power, God, the angels, forces behind the wheel, please let me into school. I promise I would rock it. Even if this blog entry is absolutely no indication of what I can do.

Now....I wait. And try to sleep. If I get into school, I'll....