ever woke up thinking something real just happened
only later to become a cliche for dreaming it at all
i felt his skin. i squeezed it in handfuls along his back.
he wanted it and so did i, i said come here and he did.
why is it always his back that i dream of
when i dream of him?
how alive i felt in that moment,
then i begin to doubt he's really dead
is he resting inside my ear ready to whisper,
the moment i start to fade,
and project an image of what might've happened
if he had chosen me instead?
i wish he wasn't dead, i really wish he wasn't
what if he had taken a ride with me after the show
and saw me as the way out, just like i wanted him to be my way out
what if what if what if
my ears are always open
if he wants to come rest inside and drive me crazy one more time
makes me feel like he may have chosen me after all
even if that makes me sound crazy
or i could just turn my back on him instead