The other morning I woke up prematurely. The sun had not peeked out over the mountains yet. I was laying on the floor, where I had been sleeping for the past week. I felt lucid and awake, yet relaxed in knowing I´d be able to fall back asleep when I was ready. I said outloud, "I´m going to find a place to live today" then turned over and went back to sleep.
Strange thing is, I was right. I found an apartment on the 14th floor of a street in Zaragoza later that day. The street has everything I need, from my bank to the inexpensive Chinese shops, the supermarket to the drug store, even a cute wine and tapas bar nearby with a woman I can practice my Spanish with. The apartment itself is small (which I prefer), with a cocina to cook inside, a baño to piss in and a habitacion to sleep inside. The ventana overlooks the entire southern side of the city, and the dozens of windmills that border it.
It´s taken me a long time to say this but I´m happy here. I refuse to be in transition. Truth is I´m tired. So very tired. I´m not ready to stop completely but I´m ready to hold the same address longer than a few months. I´m ready to enter my 30´s with some sophistication, instead of sporting this paper bag over my head like I´ve been for the past six years.
My job is interesting. I work with children and it´s not as much of the nightmare as I first perceived it to be. They´re just little people with bigger personalities. I don´t hate them anymore. In fact, they can be a lot more stimulating than adults.
My Spanish is improving, slowly. I´m making new friends, slowly. I´m learning what it´s like to really step into my own and not cling to someone else´s path. I just hope I don´t get that familiar stirring inside and get desperate to run. The truth is, this is the first time in years I´ve come somewhere completely and solely for myself, so I have a feeling I´ll remain comfortable a lot longer than I have in the past. We´ll see.
Strange thing is, I was right. I found an apartment on the 14th floor of a street in Zaragoza later that day. The street has everything I need, from my bank to the inexpensive Chinese shops, the supermarket to the drug store, even a cute wine and tapas bar nearby with a woman I can practice my Spanish with. The apartment itself is small (which I prefer), with a cocina to cook inside, a baño to piss in and a habitacion to sleep inside. The ventana overlooks the entire southern side of the city, and the dozens of windmills that border it.
It´s taken me a long time to say this but I´m happy here. I refuse to be in transition. Truth is I´m tired. So very tired. I´m not ready to stop completely but I´m ready to hold the same address longer than a few months. I´m ready to enter my 30´s with some sophistication, instead of sporting this paper bag over my head like I´ve been for the past six years.
My job is interesting. I work with children and it´s not as much of the nightmare as I first perceived it to be. They´re just little people with bigger personalities. I don´t hate them anymore. In fact, they can be a lot more stimulating than adults.
My Spanish is improving, slowly. I´m making new friends, slowly. I´m learning what it´s like to really step into my own and not cling to someone else´s path. I just hope I don´t get that familiar stirring inside and get desperate to run. The truth is, this is the first time in years I´ve come somewhere completely and solely for myself, so I have a feeling I´ll remain comfortable a lot longer than I have in the past. We´ll see.
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