strange to think, after so many years, that sometimes you still miss her
she was potent, she was toxic, she was gorgeous and deranged
she disappeared when lines were drawn and parents were estranged.
she troubled me, she knew she did, and sometimes she enjoyed it
other times she embraced the child i was, yet i filled her with annoyance
she never knew the impact that she had on the small me
darkened depths of loneliness like the deep roots in a tree
grew to engage in things she did and i cried tears for her
one solemn night on christmas eve when i read her diary.
those troubles past, will she ever know those same things are with me?
i know one night he held her down, in that louisiana city
she never told a single soul, well she at least never told me
she joined the silent sisterhood, climbed that twisted family tree
swung from a limb and disappeared and forgot all about me.
sometimes i still have dreams of her, of coming face to face
sometimes she's glad or sometimes mad or sometimes she feels out of place
years will pass and things might change but others stay the same
like dimples in a person's cheeks or flashbacks in a brain
i loved that girl. i always did. i craved her love for me
like lonely stars behind the moon that shine timidly
yearning for a longer life, to stay in someone's eyes
even if they torment you and feed your head with lies
sister, sister. silent sister. i know what he did to you.
and all i did was cry and cry and stay silent to protect you.
was this your reason for your hate, was this why you fled?
all because of your silent story, from the pages that i read?
i know you're doing well by now, for this i'm truly glad
misery comes and goes like flies or waits like an unmade bed
solace comes when eyes adjust to darkness without light
i never would have given you up, not at least without a fight
stay well. i am.
i always loved you no matter how fucked up you were