Blog Archives

boundaries

11/28/2011

i push people away.
not everyone, but most
keep them at arm's length
form the protective barrier of boundary.
i don't like phone calls,
i show up late randomly
i try to pretend nothing's wrong with that
but i know i owe a little more respect.

the biggest fear, a driving force
is hurting someone, is hurting myself
when someone gets close the other feels
involved, motivated
to grow the chain around someone else's arm
and make it stronger and important.
when something becomes important it races
to the top of your list of things to do
places to go, people to see
even if it's in the darkness of your own room
just before dawn.

what if i'm just not ready for all of that
or what if i'm already involved
why can't it work both ways just once...?

meanwhile i'll do my best
to continue furnishing my own resources
making layers out of needle and thread
just to protect my head from the brash cold.
weave a net just tight enough to shroud myself
yet still be able to connect.
to secure the ability to trust a person long enough
to let them stand, without either of us trying to
drag the other along. that way maybe
we'll both have the chance to look into each other's eyes
and know we're doing the right thing

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Cheetah

11/24/2011

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little me standing
in big girl shoes
sometimes i don't recognize myself
when i brush by
flying through time like a whistle blown
i've found a place to call 'my home'
and i don't feel so scared this time
to just stay put and actually enjoy it

i've got so many years to think about.
i hear it in the stories that compulsively leap from my tongue
to a dozen heads more or less,
it's a quest for some serious interpersonal connections
forming relationships.
and when i think about the faces that have come and gone
characters on pages passed, chapters of delight and deceit
when we didn't know the meaning of discreet
it makes me want to read the book out loud
and share my secrets

look at me standing
in big girl shoes.
mildly professional,
but you know i can't just nod my head
it's two steps from dead
i prefer to live with the feeling it all just might stop
so i dig my fingers into the open air
and ride the atomic wave

sometimes i don't recognize myself.
no longer that sad, sometimes too vulnerable girl
with lots of meat on her bones,
i feel like a cheetah.
i'm the opposite of stupid
and deep down i'll always be a brunette at heart

those characters in my story,
what's become of some of them?
i imagine one layered in thick clothes like he always was
except in that foggy summer when i bid zai jin
or the one who lead me there to begin with,
what's his name again? and how the first person
to ever break my heart was a girl
sunburnt in the swimming pool
these beings have given me some onion layers
soon to flake off as i've started peeling

but their aromas are still there.
i smell it in the air.
an undertone in my breath
because i have yet to complete my tale.
a cheetah, chasing the wave of a whistle blown
not so eager to finish first,
and surely not last
just fast enough to savor the adrenaline
and still feel young

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q kiero decir:

11/22/2011

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por caso si olvido.
por caso si mi boca no puede abrir.
por caso si las palabras solas son
ellas q has escuchado de mi
otra vez
no kiero nadie estar cansado

pero la verdad es q estoy un poca cansada,
mi mente roga para trankilidad
y la verdad es q ultimamente he lo encontrada.
no kiero disruptir esto momento
pero al otra mano siente tu ausencia.

no kiero poner nuestras lineas
y combinar al uno justo, no ahora
not just yet.
no lo se la dirrecion de tu linea,
puede ser de camino ala bosque
o a un punto por la playa.
cual prefiero? yo no tengo ni pipa
porque no conozco el conductor
detras tus ojos y palabras ricas
de higos a brevas.

por eso solamente kiero decir
(despues un monton de palabras)
es q me gusta tu cara, tus ojos
y tu boca. parece natural cuando
me tocas, picas como un mosquito cariñoso
hay cosas q no kiero q paran.
pero dentro tu boca kiero la habilidad a explorar
aprender mas de quien eres y quien vas a sera
los posibilidades como las plumas
y observar sus colores, observar tu
y escuchar. la problema es q no puedo estar de pie
sin andando, sin progresion.
me gusta bailar, hasta la cancion final
empeja su elegancia con uno mas aliento,
y voy a irme a camino entonces.

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vamos a ver... los peces

11/21/2011

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nadando en su lugar
como siempre
q nada puede molestarles.
imagina un pais
como asi
donde libertad es todo
antes la caña.

vamos a ver los colores
y aprovechar de las diferencias,
q marvilloso como la luminosidad
parece mas fuerte q ninguna idea
como quien eres esta mas importante
q cual hiciste

vamos a vernos por la cara
es como las palabras quedan
como las ropas, han cambiado
cada dia, con nuestra decisiones
y ilusiones antes el sol va a dormir,
solamente leyendo los aciones q estan
detras de los explicaciones,
y los razones q parecen flojas,
es como si tienen un voz, el voz esta rompada.

quiero leer tu cara,
solamente por las palabras de verdad
solamente las ojeadas q pausan mucho,
para los momentos cuando no tener a hablar
y matar el espacio, cuando momentos silencios
dan la paz q he necesitaba

y los peces, un monton de varidad
nadan cerca de mi, como siempre
los recuerdos de la mar de fondo
q da igual las palabras de una boca
cuando hay canciones de otras
esperando para un turno
a nadar en un paraiso nuevo
sin

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boundaries

Cheetah

q kiero decir:

vamos a ver... los peces

tell me.

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