ANOMIE
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words words & more words

7/23/2009

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I've been on a poetry kick lately. If that's not your thing, you can scroll down a bit. Otherwise, thanks for reading!

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That Day on the Escalator

7/19/2009

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Once upon a time I rode the escalator up
up, up, up
while you were staring down, waiting to see me
in my head you stood by the newspaper stand
clutching your bag with memories eager to be shown to me
it had been so long since we were together
so long, lengthy like hair growing from the roots of my displacement
and i missed you, i missed you like ice cold water on a dry throat
or cuddly wool caressing chilly goosebumps
as i went up, up, up

you were not staring down
you were not by the newspaper stand
instead you were five minutes late, so i was the one standing,
waiting for you.
how appropriate is that
that i watched you cross the bridge
there you were, coming to me
crossing oceans, or time or borders between
summer and winter, the spring or
falling down, down, down is what i did

even though it was soon after i was crying and kneeling on a stairwell
after disappearing into a cab to escape your blistering presence filled with indifference
i want you to know that was a magical day
that day on the escalator.

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Ni howdy.

7/17/2009

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I did the most amazing thing today. I brushed my teeth with Arm & Hammer Dental Care toothpaste. I forgot the way the stuff would cooly sizzle against my gums while the bristles stroked my teeth. Who needs the dentist when you have Arm & Hammer? I sound like an advertisement. Then I gargled with Listerine Vanilla Mint, my favorite flavored mouthwash. It's the little things I've enjoyed the most since I've been home.

I visited a new bar in Atlanta, Leon's Full Service, owned by the same folks who own the Brick Store in Decatur. It's amazing! I love it more than the Brick Store. I finally got to eat hummus...only this was better than regular hummus, this had bits of carrot and mint mixed in it! I couldn't stop raving, especially after tasting the speciality cocktails my friend Miles created on the menu. Go to Leon's if you're anywhere near Atlanta, that place rules!

I drove my car with the top down at night and blasted everything I didn't blast before. I watched season one of HBO's True Blood. I watched Sonic Youth, at the Variety Playhouse (my favorite venue in Atlanta), play the cleanest, most sound set I've seen in years. Those seasoned professionals performed in front of a friendly crowd uneager to start an inappropriate mosh pit or scream the name of the only song they knew. It was fantastic. And I saw my friends! Well, most of them. That was the best part. Even after ten months, we still have our private jokes that have gone nowhere, waiting for us to return to them. It's the little things that mean the most.

But there's other little things, like signs telling me to turn around and go back to China. Little things like words I'm not used to hearing, dirty reminders that I live in the dirty south. The first couple of days were a bit rough getting here. But once I got myself in the right company, everything's been cool.

So now I'm currently trying to decide what's next. I have a couple of options...something that might even result in a literal coin toss. I can't divulge much more on that right now but will later. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I make the right decision.

And just because I'm not in China anymore doesn't mean you should stop reading my blog. I'll be keeping up with this periodically. There are always more adventures in store.

Much love
MISU

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And I'm back

7/10/2009

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Currently I'm in the Toronto airport after having flown 12 hours from Beijing. It hasn't registered yet. My flight was delayed 6 hours so I spent them drinking and watching movies in the Beijing airport. AirCanada is a pretty good airline. When something goes wrong they take care of you. So they gave me a free pass to stay in a hotel for the night.

But I decided to nix that idea, considering it's already 3:20 am and my flight is at 9. I have three heavy bags. What's the point of lugging them to the hotel only to turn around and drag them back? So I'm hanging out in the airport until then and finally enjoying internet without any sites blocked by censorship.

Facebook was blocked just days before I left. Good timing I suppose, but I feel bad for my friends who are still there and rely on that site to keep in touch with people. It still affects me because I have several good friends who are returning to Baoding next year. I want to be able to communicate through facebook with them, it's so convenient. But alas, I suppose Skype will have to do.

The last few days in China were magical, glorious and bittersweet. I had the best birthday party ever. On Tuesday, I survived my rock star year and turned 28. Since I was leaving just two days after, I decided to invite all my friends and family in China, everyone I enjoyed being around so much during that year. And amazingly, just about everyone came! And it was people from all over the world. China, Russia, Ukraine, France, Australia, America, Malaysia... and each group of people from their country stood up and toasted to me in their languages. The Russians sang to me and it brought me to tears. Having Chali and his wife there was really special, they got me an authentic Chinese tea set that I truly adore and want to keep for the rest of my life. In fact, I couldn't pack it so I bought an extra bag just so I could bring it home. Cost me an arm and a leg but worth it. Vova, Anton, Sergei and Sasha got me two picture frames, Ilia gave me a mirror, Alex gave me her devil ears, Misha a leather nail grooming kit, Charlie Shanghai and Vivi brought me a cake, Julia, Sveta and Marsha a nail toy thingy (don't know what they're called exactly), Julie left me a delightful present on my doorstep, Luna some delicious chocolate, and Kim gave me this awesome gift--a bunch of pictures of the two of us with post-its on the back explaining each situation we were in. That and a wallet made out of ducttape. Pretty amazing. Everyone was happy and having a good time, it was exactly what I wanted. And I was able to remember everything.

I got really emotional at the end of the night. The next morning, same. Off and on all day, kept getting sad and feeling a big lump in my throat. I didn't know it was going to be this hard but it has been. Saying goodbye to Misha was one of the most difficult things. I'm amazed we managed to stay together for eight months and not knowing each other's language. He was great. A pain in the ass sometimes but a good guy. The next girl he finds is lucky.

Kim rode with me to the airport, we laughed about our year and just how amazing it had been. We hugged goodbye and I took off, only to hang out in the airport for 12 hours until my plane finally took off.

I don't mind waiting in airports, though. I have my computer, I have things to read, there's always something to do. And I like watching people. In a moment, I'm about to step outside and breathe some Toronto night air and see if it tastes any different from the air I'm used to breathing. Will I manage this transition? Of course, I can manage everything...really...but I hope I can do it with triumph and not stare aimlessly, wondering what the hell I'm doing. Once I get to Atlanta, life is not going to stop for probably a month. My mom's picking me up from the airport on the way to Lake Lanier to spend with friends.  Monday is Sonic Youth with Leigh Anne, which I can hardly wait for. It's going to be a total whirwind, but I'd rather jump right into something than sit around and get sad and miss China. And I know I will.

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