Blog Archives

Lessons Learned

6/27/2010

I don't want another lesson learned
bridges built only to be burned
down to the ground or
floating on the water
foreshadowing to a younger me
to go ahead, tread carefully
but when you're young you ignore the signs
and before you know you've crossed the line
each time
he becomes another lesson learned

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The Best Sneeze on Earth

6/20/2010

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you're impossible not to love
because the deepness in your eyes pulls me and convinces me to stay.
my body craves and pulsates.
eager to take your scent and wipe it all over me like lather
fierce, with friction until i just can't stop and i'm either incredibly alive
or on the verge of dying
like the moment before the best sneeze on earth.

you.
breaking my heart each time

and those dents in your shoulders i'm so wild about.
my nest, a glowing place. a fountain of youth
tender, sweet, rich and right
i latch on like a necklace that glimmers in light
for i find you impossible not to love,
and for you it's a fight
breaking my heart each time you stray
each time you convince me to stay
you're impossible not to love. you.

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Moments of Calm

6/15/2010

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yearning and burning and turning me inside out
like the wheels on a train on the tracks that go clickety clack
plugging and tugging my ears, my hair, my stomach is in knots
i can't eat, can't sleep can't do anything

in the moments of calm i see your face
hovering over me like the moon
holding my face, i see your face
in the moments of calm i can't let go.

listening and twisting and fisting the words drawn out
like gripping a lasso and expecting to pull them out of my mind
disorderly quarterly subordinate feelings tied
to the bigger ones i can't help but overanalyze

in the moments of calm i hear your voice
whispered on the tip of my shoulder
syllables slow, the comfort of your voice
in the moments of calm please tell me more

deafening and threatening is the language of thoughts
like the scent of lousy vanilla musk that just won't come off
i refuse to be broken but somehow it debilitates me
you just can't be looking at her the way you look at me
in the moments of calm, yours, mine to keep
let's keep it that way, can we? shall we?

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sometimes

6/13/2010

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today we crossed boundaries
set in the sky by some invisible force
like conscience, faith or fear.
and while the tears rolled i was smiling
while you lay down beside me
and things began to finally make some sense

the thing is, there is nothing i don't love about you
even the things i thoroughly hate
after today you came two steps closer to knowing me
while i poked a little hole in your shell
to let the light seep out

your friends, they saw it last night
while you wrapped your arm around my waist
a grin of satisfaction, and i knew we were doing the right thing
even if it sometimes feels like it's not
in everyone else's eyes or even our own, sometimes

i'm going to miss the fuck out of you

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this

6/10/2010

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Everything's a process. A long, painful process. I hope I'm miles closer to figuring it all out, or at least toward accepting things for what they really are and not settling for distraction. Maybe then life might be a little easier to bear. I'm tough. I know I am

but

alongside this realization comes even more patience, a need for patience. with myself, with everyone. and just a general desire to chill the fuck out and stop worrying about shit.

i wish i could write a song right now but i can't

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edible flowers

6/2/2010

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i woke up this morning with a sore jaw and a bruise on my waist
as though i fought myself endlessly with no result.
later i walked to the church and cursed god in his own house,
called him an indian giver for bringing me flowers then yanking them away.

edible flowers.

the salt on your skin, the garlic on your tongue
the sweat that stings and stifles, then pacifies my lips
of your silent, incredible taste
i long to stay there for a long, long time
till your eyes grow black and you want nothing more than to feast on me

and then i felt guilty.

i told god i was sorry for being such an asshole, a spoiled, selfish asshole.
especially when the old lady nearby is silently pleading for her cancer-ridden husband, or the family needing the roof that doesn't leak. these things matter, why should i?

but life is so much better with flowers. perhaps god understands the things i can't

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Lessons Learned

The Best Sneeze on Earth

Moments of Calm

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edible flowers

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